The 'Creative Impulse' can roughly be defined, or at least accodring to google, as the need or desired to create something new that has value. To me it's more of the yearning to be creative, whether you're replicating something or making something. There is also the definition of value, as it holds different terms in each person's mind. But really, creative impulse, it's something we're all basically born with. And it's something that I often miss.
Now a days I probably only do about three things of the creative sort; which is writing, making Youtube videos, and occassionally drawing. And I like that, I think it's good. And as I said before. I really think people need creative outlets. But there's a difference in being creative and to having a creative outlet, because it's come to the point where I really don't feel creative anymore. Let me explain it like this, when I was younger I was spilling over the brim with creative impulse. Every day I wanted to learn and create something new, I wanted to makes things, see things and in general be as creative that I possibly could be. I had ideas and plans and I just wanted to do everything. There's the whole sponge effect that people talk about when you're younger, how your mind is primed to soak up knowledge, well when I was younger I wanted to soak up everything creative. I wrote and danced, I painted and drew, I sang and later learned to play an instrument. There was just so much about me that was shining with creativity. And I don't have that anymore, but I want to. I want to be the person who does arts and crafts and still write and make really interestign Youtube videos too. I want to learn and do everything possibly creative that I can. But I don't. And it's just because, well...life. There's going to school and working a job, there's all the distractions of the internet I use to get away from sadness and stress. And then there's just other things that I feel compelled to do, be involved in clubs, makes friends...be, you know, a normal human being. I enjoy those things too, I really do, but it's just hard not to know I'm creating or doing anything of value. Yes, my writing is good but unless I have the drive will it ever amount to anything. I have all these wonderful, artistic ideas for videos I never make, and instead film vlogs with bad lighting. And with my drawing, I only just copy things, I'm too scared to make something of my own. But what is it, really? Is it of value? Sometimes I just sit around and think, I'm twenty years old and what have I managed to dow ith my life so far? Nothing, the answer is nothing.
I don't want it to be nothing, though. I want it to be something. I want to be something more than just an apathetic English Major who probably has some odd stress disorder. I want to be better. And so it that silly? Is that so wrong? To push myself to be more creative, to try to rebuild my creative impulse? Because, really, it'd be wonderful to have it back.
Fin.
-Keshia
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