BEDA 13: To the Park!

Today I walked about twenty blocks, with various turns and stops, to find the Grande Avenue Park. This is a park along the waterfront in Everett. I felt like I should go there. I went to the park all the time in Alabama, several different ones actually. I've really been feeling park deprived up here in Washington. So my landlady gave me directions yesterday which I completely forgot when I started on my venture to the park this afternoon. Have I mentioned that I'm not very good with directions to begin with? Anyway, I eventually found this park but then I realized that from where I lived I could have followed the crossroad straight down to the park about eight blocks. All those turns and other things I had taken were a useless twelve blocks. But while I was at the park today I decided I would run to this park every morning. It's something I'm trying to do, to lose weight. But more than that I just want to be refreshed by a lovely park every morning. I also filmed a long and awkward vlog for my friend Kody while I was heading to the park. I'll probably add it up next week.

Well I'm tired,and it's only eight thirty. But this is good. If I wanna run to the park tommorow morning I'm going to have to wake up at 4 because I have to be at work at 7. Blah!

Fin.

BEDA 12: Do you think about death?

Yesterday I went and saw Final Destination 5. For my own reason I'm always paranoid for a week after I watch the movies. Honestly, this movie was great. It replaced the first one as my second favorite (my first favorite is ans still is, the third one) and the twist in the end make sit so much more brilliant. I'm not telling anymore.
But really, sometime if wonder if death really does have things all planned out like that for us. Sometimes I think he does (I see death as a man, the Grim Reaper never really appeared to be a woman). I mean, though it is cool looking, I hardly doubt deaths plans involve things that are very brutal and cruel as in the movie. He honestly can't be that harsh. But sometimes I do wonder if death has plans. Well not death, God. If God knows our whole life, if he has everything planned out then he must have death planned out too, and does that, in a sense, make God death. I'm not sure...I shouldn't think about complicated things.

I really don't care how I die. I can die brutally, if that's what death or God wants, but if I die before I make some of my dreams come true, I sure am going to be pissed.

BEDA 9,10, and 11: I'm hungry right now..

So I realized I'm really terrible at this blog everyday in August thing. I mean, I honestly can't seem to keep up with a blog. It's also the fact that work gets all up in the way. I have such random shifts that it really bothers me, but once school starts it will settle down just fine. I can't wait until school, I'm a nerd, I admit. College thrills me, I'm so ready...I just need to purchase books first.

But as of current news, other than me working and sleeping a lot, here's what's happening....

I am currently hungry but my landlady is in the kitchen making about 60 brownies for a party at her friends. I know I can move perfectly around her to make my own food (hamburger helper tonight, FTW!) but I won't. I've never liked cooking while other people are there to witness it. It's not like I have to be alone, I don't mind if people are there I just have intense paranoia. I'm convinced people judge me everywhere, even in the kitchen while I'm cooking food for myself.
I'm also trying to edit through all my videos from ISA, right now a file is saving and that's why I choose to take the time to blog. Yipee! Tomorrow, probably, I'm going  to film a vlog about my thoughts on Harry Potter and it ending, all that jazz. It's probably going to be emotional and stupid but it's something I feel like I should do. The post date will be the 14th, one month after Harry Potter premiere.
 Also, tomorrow I'm going to go see the fifth final destination movie. Although The Final Destinaiton series is a bit played out in my head I can't help it. I've been a loyal Final Destination fan since the first movie (along with my sister Jeannie, who I'm going to see this with tommorow. There are these rare instances where Jeannie and I agree and have something in common, usually within the entertainment catergory. We are both avid fans of Final Destination, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and RENT.) I honestly think they should have stopped at the third movie, it was my favorite and it seemed the most instense to me. I absolutely hated the fourth one, even if part of the movie was shot in my hometown. But I'm still going to see the fifth one, there's just a kind of loyalty that lies in a person when they have a passion about a TV series or show. Such as the Buffy Reboot (that has been rumored to happen for the past year), even though I know it won't have the brilliant acting skills of Anthony Stewart Head, James Marsters, or Sarah Michelle Gellar, I'll probably still watch it.
I have the next two days off, this, I enjoy very much!
-Keshia

BEDA 8: Library.

The Everett Public Library is the one area where I can not be alone and yet still feel totally efficient. I hung out t the library a lot today. In fact I was there from about 12-4pm. I guess it takes a truly inane person to hang out at the library that long. It's always better when I have a spot that's to myself and more reclusive because if not I feel a little self conscious. I get fidgety and I have to get up and walk around even if I've already checked out the books I needed. but today was a good library day. I had a nice spot and could snack in peace.I caught up on a lot of journal writing and finished editing the first chapter of my book. I also check Never Have I Ever, the second in The Liar Game Series by Sara Shepard. They're coming out with a TV series based on but I don't honestly think I'll watch it because like the PLL TV, I don't have the time nor I care too much about the variation on the series. I mean, the show in itself is good, but I can't compare to the books at the same time. I also got Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, my absolute favorite book in the world. My copy is still in Alabama, although I should get my stuff shipped here soon enough. I really needed Sittenfeld's words, she is a creative genius. I also check out a few more books and ate at Taco Bell afterward, I feel accomplished.

BEDA 7: I have no friends....

It occurs to me that I really have no friends here in Washington. In Alabama I had friends, friends that I was so close to that it was scary. I mean, I can literally feel a physical pull on myself to go back to Alabama and hug those people. It's really been a while since I've had a good and proper hug from a friend. In fact, the last person I hugged was Marina, the night before I left for Washington. I'm feeling a littl bit hug deprived.

And, my friends, I realize how lonely of an existance that I've thrown myself into. Most of the time it doesn't bother me, I want to travel my whole life because I want to see the world. But I've also realized that unless I find someone with passions similar to my own that I'm never going to have that opportunity to have such a close friend again. But I'm perfectly fine with it, but it does bother me sometimes, just a little, like a twinge at the back of my throat that makes me want to cry because I miss my friends so much. However, I will be in Washington for about two years before I head back down south to Florida for my Disney internship. I think I'll have plenty of opportunity to make new friends. In fact, I already have people I talk to on a regular basis that aren't just coworkers or insignificant people. But in m heart I know I'll never be close to people like I was in Alabama. These are people who I've grown up with, people who have seen me at every moment in my life up until now. Friendship like that just can't be erased.

BEDA 5/6: McDonalds

So it's hard to post when I work alot. The last two days I've had these awkward shifts (11am-7pm) where I don't have time to do stuff before work nor do I have the time or energy to do stuff afterward. But luckily for me once school starts I can get my work settled out and my schedules won't be so random anymore. September 19th better hurry up.
So my blogs ran into each other. Boom! Super collision! Mostly I just wanted to tlak about Mcdonalds. My toughts right before walking into there to apply were this is going to be hell. It turns out it isn't. I really love my job in a fast food place, this wierd corporation called McDonalds. My coworkers are nice and the work is fun and easy. ost of the time my days fly by.Which is wierd, the complete opposite of what I think. I used to think that working in a fast food place would be terrible but nah, it isn't.

BEDA 4: Didn't you know I'm the perfect girl?

So to be honest I almost forgot about BEDA, I only just remembered while I was taking a shower earlier. Also, whilst I was taking a shower I realized I'm still terrified of getting water in my eyes. When I was younger I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly it hurt and refused to go into a pool without goggles. I still do this, I'm still terrified of water. I close my eyes tight, I don't get why, I just do. But, this however, is irrelvent to today's blog post.

Today after work I sat down with one of my managers, Tiger. Tiger is on the younger side, super tall, and flirts with every girl that is within a five foot radius of him. For some reason Tiger and I started talking about our view on relationships, I'm not sure how we came to this suject. But basically, after I explained my view, how I don't believe in marriage and blah, blah, blah, Tiger said I was like the perfect girl. My only thought was that Tiger doesn' really know me. But then I thought about it and realized that I have in fact been told this before, soon before I left Alabama. So, this gets me thinking? If I'm such a perfect girl then why aren't guys pining after me? One thing probably has to do with looks, I'm not ugly but I'm not really pretty either. Like most other things in my life (height, weight, intelligence, voice) I fall somewhere in the average catergory. Another reason, I decided, is because I'm too annoying. I know myself, I know I'm annoying and I know that I am irksome to some people. And lastly I think it's because I'm too unique. Well, unique is the nice way of putting it. I'm wierd, this I know too. But it's me and I made it clear this past year that I'm not changing or anyone. Though of course, in reality, I don't care at all. Right now I'm not dreaming about love at all. I'm dreaming about my dreams. So guys who think I'm perfect can just stay out of the picture.

An besides, who wants a girlfriend who still afraid of water?

BEDA 3: I cheated.

I cheated, on two things, actually. First and foremost, BEDA. Originally, I didn't plan on doing BEDA. I hardly blog here, I only came on to check who my new follower was. I mean, when not that many people are interested in your life, you wanna see who actually is. But then I read through of all of Kristina Horner's BEDA (s) so far along with her blogs from vidcon and I suddenly had the urge to do BEDA myself. I mean, I'm always wanting to write more in here. Now I'll feel obligated to, but I cheated. I'm two days late. Who cares? No one, because no one really reads this.
The second thing I cheated on was my yearbook. Remember a while back when I promised I wasn't going to read any yearbook things until the plane to Washington. I lied. I actually read everything in my yearbook the day Marina and I got in a fight. I think it was sort of a therapy, she didn't seem to care about me anymore so I wanted to see who did. So I read my yearbook and cried more. You see, that's the thing about me when I'm sad, I don't believe anything good to happen. I just convinced myself those people were liars and they didn't care for me. But that do.

Anyways, fin.
I do realize BEDA is supposed to indeed be a 'tell what you did today kind of thing', and yes indeed it will be that....tomorrow.