Saturday, March 16, 2013

Because Things are Heavy.


"A lot of people don't realize that depression is an illness. I don't wish it on anyone, but if they know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it off."
-Johnathan Davis

 When it comes to depression I have to several things. One is that I have never actually been "diagnosed" with depression. And through that I have no idea if I really have depression or not. But there are a lot of times when I get depressed. But there's a difference to having depression and getting depressed. I do get sad a lot, but I can tell the difference between just being sad and having what I call my "depressed episodes" And if you can guess, I have been having one lately. I've felt trapped in my won sadness. But despite that I'll try to keep this blog as positive as possible. It's not to make people feel bad for me or think everything about me is sad, because pity is not what I need. It's more of an examination of my character and what depression does to it.
           
  As I've said before my depression was perhaps at its worst in middle school. I just hated life everyday, getting out of bed just took so much effort. Because I was just scared of every damn day and how much sadder it was going to make me feel. And I hated myself, really hated myself. I became a cutter, and I did it because I hated myself. I thought I deserved the pain. But somehow I got out of the slump. I became happier, with episodes of sadness every now and then, but never anything too serious. Then my senior year of high school came, and a lot of stuff happened. A lot of stuff seemed out of my control and so I cut again. I'm not sure why, there was really no thought there, I just wanted something to control. But unlike middle school it was only once, one singled event. And I've been good since then. I really have. Until, well, can you guess why I'm writing this blog. Do you remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about how I feel like I want to cut myself again. Well, I did. A few knuckles on my left hand have half a dozen tiny, little shallow cuts. And there are about two one inch cuts on the side of my right now.
           
  A lot of me told me not to post it in here, not to post my problems on the internet. But the thing is, I said long ago that this blog was a lighter (by a lot) version of my journal, and it essentially is. And also, I'm just getting really tired of hiding parts of myself, particularly on the internet forum where I like to express myself. What is expression without truth? I mean, hardly anyone reads this blog. And even if they do and they judge me (or pity) for it, I'm not really going to care. You see, I know how it sounds. I am a twenty year old girl in college and I cut myself, doesn't that sound truly pathetic. But I'm just so fucking tired of feeling bad for feeling bad. Do you get what I mean there? I don't want people telling me my sadness is stupid, or that it's wrong for me to be depressed when I'm so blessed. Why does just feeling something make me wrong?
          
  Yesterday Teila and I were talking and she told me it's not wrong for me to feel the way I feel. We were talking about something completely unrelated to depression, but still, it's been a long time since someone has told me it's okay to feel the way I feel (In fact, I think the last time the person who told me was Teila as well). And do you know how good that makes me feel? It's okay to have emotions, you know? It's okay for me to a damn human being? Because I really don't feel that way a lot. You know the worst thing you can tell someone who is feeling shitty? That's they have no right to feel shitty. Unless you have some magical, complete understanding of a person, you're not going to know how they feel. So telling someone that their feelings are wrong…is the wrogn thing to do, I hope you know that.
           
  And the shit about people doing it to themselves? Really? I know I don't choose to make myself feel a certain way. I don't care what Psychology rules say or anything, I would never willingly make myself feel depressed. It's horrible. It's like everyday just getting up you're weighed down by this fucking heavy thing, and most of the it you don't even know what it is…but it's there and you can't shake it off. And it just keeps getting heavier and heavier and heavier. For me, sometimes it makes me hurt, hurt in places that I didn't even know existed. And I just cry and cry and try desperately to cling to the little shards of happiness I have left, all the happiness that the heavy thing crushed. And other times it's like I have nothing. I am smothered by my depression and I just feel nothing, and I want to feel something so badly. It's like I can't breathe, I have nothing. And I just don't want to exist, because what's the point of existing if you can't feel. Why would anyone ever want to make them selves feel that way?
            
And you know what, I did just cut myself a few days ago, my cuts still hurt, but I'm okay. Don't you dare fucking feel bad for me! I get sad, bad things happen, and sometimes those bad things make me hurt myself. But I don't feel like I broken human being, I just feel like a human being who is lost sometimes. But you know, I have things that help me get find a way a long again. I have writing here or in my journal, or my stories. Recently I've started drawing. I have the books that I read. And recently I've started drawing again, something to make me feel better. I have a lot of things that I love and a lot of things that help me get better in life.
            
But here's the truth behind it, I have those things and I really love them. But when I'm having a moment, like I experienced several times this week, a moment where I'm on my floor crying my eyes out and I feel out  of control. Everything hurts and I want to scream and I have no one that will ever fully understand. I don't think of the things that help me get better. I don't have functioning thoughts; I just have pain or nothing. And that's all I can feel. And that's what depression feels like, you don't think. And if you do think you can only think about how much you hate yourself and how much the world would be without your sorry ass carcass. When I'm like that I do bad things to myself, things like destroying my knuckles or beating myself over the head I really don't think about the things that make me better. But you know, a lot of times it doesn't reach that point. I don't get to the point where there's not some little hope out there, it's just been happening more as of late because everything is hard. And I can't tell you how it is hard, only that it is. But I'm okay; I've felt, well not happier for these past few days, but better. Not so sad, or at least capable of feeling something besides sadness. And I'll be okay. I can't promise if I will hurt myself again or not, Because I think something that should be understood about me, even if no one wants to believe me, is that when I'm like that I literally have no control. But I'm working on the control. I do need help, though; the world needs to help me along every now and then.

Fin.
-Keshia

Currently Reading The Dark Hills Divide by Patrick Carmen
*along with the depression has come a lack of reading, hence the reason that I am still on the same book*

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