Mine but not Mine.

I've always thought, since I was young, that no one loved books as much as me. No one had the passion for reading that I had. When I was a kid my mom used the library as sort of a free babysitter, she dropped me off and the morning and I ran around, reading books of all kind until she would pick me up in the afternoon.

Before Hurricane Ivan destroyed the library in our town, it was a thing of wonder. It was built in an old log cabin with dark walls and dark corners, there was a back room with beams everywhere and soft plush chairs settled in every corner for reading. In the front lobby there was the spinning round desk for computer with about twenty of them on there. And all the shelves, they were taller than me. When you needed it a librarian would give you a little stool to stand up on, because nothing is better than reaching up and grasping a book you wanted for the first time. It was beautiful. And one thing I noticed, no one was ever in there with me. There was the librarian, sitting at her desk and filing stuff away, sticking her head in the room where I sat to check on me every now and then. There was the occassional person, maybe turning something in, or checking one or two things out, or researching on the computer a little bit (this was still during an age where internet in every home just wasn't that common). But no one, I noticed, dwelled in there like me. No one found the right corners to hide in, no one found the oldest books in the library. No one ran their fingers over the books feeling the age, the texture, the pages, and told them they loved them before they had to leave. And so that's when I decided, no one loves books as much as I do.

Today I am so particular about libraries. Some I love and some I hate and not one could ever feel like the library of my child hood. To me a good library is like a long, warm hug. It's the type of hug after you've come home from a tiring trip, and everythign and terrible and sore and most of you just wants to curl up in a ball to cry. And someone is there to hug you, someone is there to take you in their soft arms and hold you ad stoke you hair and all the bad is gone and resting is in order. That's what a good library is like, and you can keep that hug going for as long as you want.

A good book is like a human. New books are wonderful, nothing beats that magic. But there is so much more special to a book that has lived, to a book that has become human. I like dog eared pages and stains, maybe some highlights and maybe some notes. I like books that you could tell have lived, you could tell have traveled, the edges are worn and the pages are so soft, just like a hand to touch. The beauty to an old book is that you get to feel it, to get feelt he weight of it and all the life it had before you, all the people whose hands it went through. And maybe its a library book, you'll return it, and someone else will sense the life you put in it. Maybe it's yours, you bought it, new or old. Its either your job to give it life or explore the life it once had, and both are just as rewarding. There is so much more to books than just the words written in them. Books are ageless and hold lifetimes against us.

The thing is, I say things like the above, I think them so casually without anything grand or trifling. It just happens. I love libraries and books so much, that how else could I expres other than just by saying why I love them all the time. And here's the thing, I know there are people out there who love books just as much as me or books more than me, but I know I'll never stop believing I love books and reading more than anyone else.

Because I feel it. Really feel it more than anything and anyone else in the world.

I'd never live my life without them.

Fin.
-Keshia