A Lost Trip to Disney

 These are a few pictures from a lost trip to Disney World; notice that none of the pictures are ones with people. It wasn't a very people worthy trip.

In 2008 I went to Disney World with the Bryant High School Marching Band and these are the only pictures I have left from it. For someone like me, who is obsessed with pictures and videos, that is quite a sad thing. Originally there were over three hundred pictures but they are all lost now, these few scraps (mostly from Animal Kingdom) are the only survivors. Two incidents created these abandoned pictures. One was me deleting half the pictures if a fit of sadness/anger. The other was our old family computer that actually has a meltdown one night while I was playing on. Like literally, our hard drive sparked and the whole computer blacked out.  The Disney pictures were all one there, and the few ones here are ones I have been able to recover years later off of Myspace (apparently I deleted the album with all the people pictures, only find these ones). Now I really don't know where I'm going with this blog, mostly just a story of that trip and horrible it was. Anyone who knows me should know that I would never associate the words horrible and Disney together. But that's what that trip was, horrible, and it a way I'm glad I have so few pictures left of it. But at the same time I'm curious if the pictures do show my unhappiness.

There were three defining factors that made the trip horrible. One was that my mother and I butted heads the entire trip. You see, I am quite selfish and self-centered and so is mother, she's the one who I learned it from. And in Disney World, a place where both of us wanted different things, it was quite horrible. Another was that I had no close friends on the trip. And when it came to band the only people I associated with were usually my two best friends (Marina and Maranda). Everyone else in the band (the majority of the people on the trip) were just acquaintances, some not even that. I only knew them from practices and performing together on Friday. And I wasn't going to impose on anyone and ask to join in one their group. This was a time in my life where I truly loathed myself and I had the belief that just my presence annoyed people (and I still think this way now sometimes, five years later). So I ended up group with my mother and sister (who were both on the trip) and one of her coworkers, his husband, and their daughter who was in band. Their daughter was like every other member in the band, just someone I only associated with practices and games. And the third defining factor to ruin the trip was rain, it rained all through the trip, which I guess made since as it was the last weekend in April. Curse the science that makes "April Showers bring May Flowers" true.

Right away I could tell it wasn't going to be a good trip. My mom and her coworker (who never liked me and still to this day thinks I'm a good for nothing brat) had ideas about what they were going to do. Her husband, my sister, and the other girl were all very complacent people and didn't care at all what was to be done, they went with the flow. But no one, not one person, cared what Keshia wanted to do. My Mom was fifty-five at the time and she had never been to Disney World, a card she pulled out on me every time I was like, "I want to do this". I had been to Disney World before, she hadn't, and so it was her choice. We started off in Hollywood Studios, I remember this, and this spent the other two days in a random mish mash of Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom. I was frustrated in two ways, both which had to do with being in a group that I didn't enjoy and not being able to leave the group. In school functioning trips, groups are the thing.

And then there was the rain, it started the first day, pouring in these sheets, and when just had to walk in it and crowd under all the random establishments in Disney. And then it was stop and it would be hot and humid--humidity that comes with Florida and Alabama (and all other southeast states) where you literally feel the air you're walking in because it is so thick. After a good deal of torture from this the rain would return. One thing that I particularly hated about the rain was the ponchos, fucking Disney and their fucking expensive ponchos. After a bit of getting soaked I guess Mom just got tired of it because she decided we should all buy ponchos. Now here's the catch, each of us had a certain amount of spending money for souvenir money in Disney, mine was about one hundred dollars. And you want to guess how much ponchos cost in Disney World, about thirty dollars. So one portion of my money gone for a poncho I didn't even want, I was already soaked and getting a poncho wasn't going to help really at all. Not to mention it was pouring rain when we went in to get the ponchos but it literally stopped raining the moment they were in our possession. Being me, I complained, and everyone looked at me like I was some sort of disease, they just wanted me to shut up. And after the purchase of the ponchos, the rain ceased for the rest of the day. But, then our band director messaged or called all the parents. He asked us all to meet at the entry at so in so time, around five o clock I think. Once there he told us he had made the executive decisions to leave the park and not see Fantasmic (which we were all supposed to go see that night) because the seats would be wet. THE FRIGGIN SEATS WOULD BE WET! It was perhaps the only things I was looking forward to and we had to leave. And none of it made sense to me, we were all already ready, why would we care about wet seats, beside we could use our ponchos to sit on. But we left inside, back to the hotel room, which was actually about an hour away from Disney World.

It was that night that was the worst part of the trip, before getting to the hotel we stopped and at, so we didn't end up getting there until around eight or nine o clock. All of the teenagers of the group noticed the hotel had an excellent pool; something massive and L-shaped with hot tubs off to the side. A lot of people made immediate plans to relax for a little bit and then go swim in the pool. I naturally wanted to join them, but I hadn't brought a bathing suit. But after relaxing for a bit my Mom suggested that we take a look at the touristy gift shops around the hotel, all of which were in walking distance. And I thought this would be awesome because I could buy a bathing suit and then go swimming. But I somehow got it in my head that the pool closed at ten, so I wanted to make it a quick trip. Mom decided on a store that was only three blocks from the hotel, and I found a bathing suit right away. But then there was an issue, because Mom wanted to continue looking around and I wanted to go back to the hotel and swim. She was adamant against me walking back to the hotel, just three blocks away, even though several other people who were part of our band were there and I could have tagged along with them as they left. This bickering went on for about fifteen minutes until Mom finally gave in and said she'd walk me back herself, and then she did, muttering the whole time about how she hardly got to look at anything and how she couldn't even enjoy herself. By the time we got back to the hotel I thoroughly hated myself and told Mom when we got back to the hotel room that I didn't even want to go swimming anymore and besides it was like nine and the pool was closing soon. She yelled at me so loud I thought she was going to hit me, she told me to "Go fucking swimming Keshia!" And so I did, I think mostly out of fear. Jeannie came with me and when we got there I saw a sign that said the pool was open twenty four hours. I wasn't there long, and left before Jeannie. In the hotel room Mom was taking a shower. I grabbed my journal and started writing, the really frustrating kind where I was shaking and scatter brained, just talking about how much I hated myself. And then I heard get out of the shower so I panicked and hid behind this chair in the corner. She got out and moved about the room, not knowing I was there. After a few minutes her coworker and fellow band parent came there. They talked about a few things and then about me, about how much of a brat I had been. And I remember Mom saying that "I was ruining her trip." It was probably the lowest point on the trip for me, and I tried to cry silently as to not reveal myself. I don't remember how I eventually came out from behind the chair; I remember Jeannie coming back and Mom's coworker leaving but not much else.

The next day the memories are distant too, we were mostly in Magic Kingdom. I do remember this, at one point I had been asking for ages to go on The Haunted Mansion, it had always been my favorite ride in Disney. But no one wanted to go, so I started crying. I was crying in the middle of Disney World, trailing along at the back of the group. And I know they knew I was crying too, but all of them pretended I wasn't. Then later on we had to meet a Disney representative outside the pirates ride. You see we were going to march in a parade at Disney (along with five other high school bands that were wondering around Disney) and the representative was there to take us backstage Disney. So we met her, and we got to go around this big wall thing. I don't remember much about the trying to walk there much, because guess what? It started to rain again. And I had left my poncho in the hotel room; I hated that thing so much. But at least everyone else was wet along with me. So then we had to get ready in these bathrooms, and I have to tell you, backstage Disney is the nastiest place ever, or at least hose bathrooms were. There were used tampons and pads thrown around, like everywhere on the floor. Some stalls were broken and there were no papers towels. There was this one awkward moment where I took off my bra. Long story short is that I was wearing a band uniform, that basically takes away all of your shape. Our majorette was wearing a lime green bra that showed up under her uniform, she asked if anyone had a nude bra she could wear. I offered mine up and when she saw it she was like, "Holy crap your boobs are huge, I think this is too big for me." She didn't wear it and I'm not aware if she found someone else's or not, but I remembering not even caring to put my bra back on because the bathrooms were so gross that I just wanted to leave. So I went braless for the parade. We had to line up, waiting for it to start, and as we were lined up, the Disney characters started lining up too. And I guess they just didn't care that we were visitors to the park or anything because they were not acting what anyone would call respectable. Snow White was smoking and Cinderella was cursing at Prince Charming. And then our clarinet section leader stepped on a live frog and killed it, and everything was just bad. And I don't even remember the parade, I can remember the physical feeling of marching and playing but I am no longer aware of what I saw during the parade.

And then in comes our band leader to ruin things again. After the parade we were supposed to stay to watch the fireworks, but now we weren't. While we were watching the parents took a vote and decided they were all too tired to stay for the fireworks (they started at midnight) and now we just had to oblige--so back to the bus and the hotel room, no fireworks for us. Apparently, though, my Mom had voted against it because as we rode back to the hotel she complained about how fucking stupid it was for us to leave and not see the fireworks.

I don't remember the third day much at all, only that it was mostly in Animal Kingdom and I took the most pictures that day because with animals there don't have to be people. It's funny how I feel the most disconnect with this day and yet it's the only day of the trip that I have pictures surviving of.  And so that was the Disney Trip, that horrible trip. There was only one happy moment during the entire thing and it was this; the night in the pool. I was feeling terribly guilty about my mom in the hotel room while I swam and in general being the introverted person that I am. I watched my classmates play games and push each other in; I stayed in the corner and observed. It was around eleven and I was about to go in, when it started to rain, just like it had that day, in pouring sheets. And for some reason everyone found it entertaining, that we were in a pool and it was pouring rain. I don't know how to describe it. Everyone else was jumping around and going crazy, rain on a friggin swimming pool. And I wasn't part of the happiness but I felt it.

This was a long blog, congrats to you if you made it through the whole thing, because I'm sure you didn't.

Fin.

-Keshia

Currently Reading Shulz and Peanuts by David Michealis