Right now it's late, no it feels late. In reality it's only nine something. To an eight year old Keshia that would be infinitely late. To an eighteen year old Keshia it's early. I still remember the first time I asked my Mom if I could stay up pass my bed time of nine o'clock. She didn't even realize I had been going to sleep at this time ever since it had been my bedtime in kindergarten. So much for caring. After that my bed time was abolished and I learned to love the night life...and adultswim. It was also after this that I started taking naps. I had never taken naps as a kid, aside from when I was a baby and it was like, essential to take naps. But no bedtime meant I had to make up for the lost hours, so I usually conked out for an hour or so after school. It was also around this time that I started to have real trouble sleeping. I'm not sure if it was my mind over matter something. But I started pulling all nighters, even when I tried to sleep. There would literally be nights where I would lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, and crying because I couldn't get to sleep and I knew I had important things to do the next day. So for a while I kicked the naps, no matter how tired I felt after school, in hopes that I would feel more tired at night. It didn't work. Essentially, I'd like to think that I have insomnia. But that's not true, I can sleep, it's just that I nap. I always get tired during the day and sleep. At night I'm never tired (except for rare nights like these when I feel tired sooner, but that's prob because I woke at six this morning and only had a fifteen minute nap today) and if I do feel tired I can only sleep for a few hours at the most. It doesn't bother me much anymore, I don't cry because my body won't let me sleep. But sometimes it does get annoying, especially at things like sleepovers where everyone is dead asleep and I'm still wide awake, laying perfectly still and trying not to move because I think it'd be rude to wake everyone else up. All in all what I'd really like to do is go back in time and tell my eight year self not to ask for an abolition of bedtime, because of that I've had sleeping problems ever since.
In other things, I do feel tired, and I'm going to take this rare opportunity to blog a little and hit the hay. Hopefully I'll stay asleep for a while. Also, I think I just saw a UFO. Well, not saw, but felt. A few minutes ago there was this sound, like a really low flying plane, and it passed over the house. I was watching a Youtube video so I paused it and listened to it as the roaring faded away. But then the sound changed direction and seemed to be coming back. This seemed odd to me so I kept listening, and it did come back. This time it passed over the house, only it seemed lower this time. Whatever it was that was flying over pulled the same trick again, it flew away turned around and came back again. Only this time it was really low, the walls of the house shook, and I heard hitting on my window which I assumed to be the thumping tree branches of the tree right outside my window. I was kind of scared at this point so I glanced out my window as it slowly passed over. My curtains are pulled over my windows but they were bright, like some multicolored light was just outside of this. I'm not gonna lie, it scared me shitless and I was too frozen to move until I heard the sound completely disappear. That was about ten minutes ago, and now I think I should sleep before I get too paranoid and actually look outside or something (it doesn't help that my landlady is out of town and won't be back until tomorrow, it means I'm completely alone and really easy for aliens to abduct.)
And also, if you didn't notice, I gave up on BEDA halfway through. I'm a loser, no wonder aliens are after me.
-Keshia
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